Some things i need to change to be a better me and Boyfriend.

Believe it or not i get tired of messing up, (listening to Tejano). But hey nothing ever happens, i always feel secure, but now i am really fu*#@d, and dont take it wrong i never assured myself, but i never learned my lesson. OK so lets get to the main point. So i met this girl named Maria, tall girl, dark brown hair, pretty lips, and amazing eyes, this was back in February of 2009 and well i was currently joining a band. So anyways i asked her to join the band, she said she would think about it and well next thing you know i asked for her number, and she gave it to me, she wrote it down all nice in cursive letters (Maria Arana)with a heart symbol just like this one on the i of maria, since then i caught on to her, well she said that she didn't even like me :D. But yeah i talked and talked to her and in less then a month we went out. Now we had 1 year and four months!. But i think that due to this we really didn't know each other well. Unfortunately she broke up with me June 24th our anniversary, but she told me many things, many things i never even thought about, many things that make sense, and well now lets stop and think back or better yet think of the future!, The things i am going to change in me to be a better Johnny, My goals!

- STOP THROWING THINGS ON HER FACE, and not literally speaking as in actually throwing objects, :D .When me and her would argue i would always like a dumb ass would say "well i did this for you and this is what i get!" , Nu uh i gotta cut this stupidity out. No more this! This has to stop! OH BY THE WAY I HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A WHILE AND I KNOW IT WONT JAJA. (STATUS)= COMPLETED

- CONTROL MY ANGER !, Oh my god i dont know what happened here, dont even know where to start, sometimes i would get so out of hand, and heck no i need to cut this out EXTREMELY ! she never got this way with me and i shouldn't either she would super hate this attitude of mine. I want to change so bad for her and i know i can, its possible and it can be done with a little bit of HOPE and FAITH, and HARD WORK. This is basically the reason why everything kinda went down really bad, cause of my "i am mad attitude" . This is the biggie of them all and i really am working on this one this time!. I PROMISE YOU I WILL CHANGE AND MAKE YOU HAPPY! I KNOW THIS TIME AND HAVE A GOOD FEELING I WILL CHANGE THIS TIME! (STATUS)= WORKING ON IT. UPDATED ON JUNE 27 4:42 AM.

-STOP BEING SO PRIDEFUL. Yep this one made a mess also , so many times i would try to act like the big thing and Mr.Hard or Mr.Untouchable, guys and girls out there, this does not help at all. Well anyways yeah this is only going to make things worse, I PROMISE AND SWEAR I WILL NEVER DO THIS, ILL KEEP UPDATED, BETTER YET i dont act this way anymore. so its all cool. (STATUS)= COMPLETED

-I HAVE TO BE MORE RESPECTFUL, THAT MEANS NO MORE CUSSING OR LOUD MEAN VOICE. Yeah probably many of us have this problem whether you're a guy or girl. OK so i do this a lot, notice maria its A LOT not ALOT, jaja well yeah this is one of the main ones also, sometimes this would come after the second problem the ANGER ONE, i would get mad and start having a loud voice and no, this will just hurt your partners little sweet heart. This is probably one of the reasons why my ex maria felt so down sometimes, or that she felt like being alone with no one around her like a boyfriend. :( . man I AM SO MEAN AND A ASSHOLE IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT. WELL THIS IS A SUPER HARD ONE BUT I AM NOT A QUITTER. (STATUS)= WORKING ON IT.

-QUIT ON THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, ja well what could i say i was like the one always saying "you're going to dump me right?" or "dont tell me you dont want to be with me?!" or "do you love me?" after she said it like 30 times "no i will not dump you or yes i do want to be with you, or yes johnny i really love you and you know it". Yeah this kind of behavior really kills them. this is one of the ones i am slowly letting go off. (STATUS)= ALMOST THERE AT 95%

-GIVE HER A BREAK, OR TIME OFF, SOMETIMES GIRLS GET FED UP OF OUR STUPID GUY STUPIDITY THAT THEY NEED TO COOL OFF, but sometimes some of us would be so full of it that we would even get mad like me. Sometimes Maria would be so tired of me that she would nicely tell me, "please give me some time for myself and to think things out". Well all i heard from that would be "i dont want you anymore", when come on this could actually be the thing your relationship needs, a BREAK BUT NOT BREAK UP. There is actually a difference, Break means for a girl that she needs time for herself and to you! "the guy" cool off, but break up of course means getting dumped.
I AM STILL CONFUSED THOUGH LOL I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE I GOT LOL. I HOPE ITS NOT A FOREVER BREAK UP. LOVE HER SO MUCH! (STATUS)= AH THIS IS A HARD ONE =`(. I FEEL SO DEPRESSED, MELANCHOLIC AND NOSTALGIC AND LONELY ON THESE ONES! SOMETIMES THIS WOULD ALSO CAUSE INSOMNIA, TEARS, BAD THOUGHTS EX. NOT WORTH LIVING, AND ALSO BAD DREAMS AND LONG DAYS.

-DON'T BE SELFISH LET HER/HIM HAVE THEIR PERSONAL SPACE AND TIME, Man i really violated this one i would be 24/7 at her house and that was not really good, even though they love you that does not mean that you can be there all the damn time. well i slowly improved on this one i went from 10 am on summer days to 3:30 summer of 2010 days. Sometimes if you're so in love like me lol you never think about the other persons plans or space, and well you might bore them i think i bored her. lol.but its OK i respect this now. (STATUS)= 99.5% COMPLETED STILL 5% LEFT.

WELL FELLAS THESE ARE SOME , *NOTE* SOME, I THINK, OF THE MANY PROBLEMS I AM GOING TO FIX IN ME, SO I WANT BE A TERRIBLE LOVE BIRD. . BUT YEAH I WILL KEEP UPDATED OF WHAT HAPPENS LOVE YOU ! AND I KNOW WERE MEANT TO BE!