The Texas Boy Search.


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Poem. Hey it came from my heart to you.


Chave este poema well 'poema' jeje lo hice yo del fondo de mi corazon para ti, alomejor no es el mejor pero salio de mi corazon.... para ti

el poema se llama "Chave"

Ay una mujer muy especial en este mundo.
Cuando miro esa mujer ella me trai una sonrisa tan grande.
su cabello chino y aveces lacio color cafe oscuro es lo mas lindo y precioso.
Cuando hablo, de esa mujer parece ser como si uno hablara
de lo mas bello del mundo.
Cuando la miro sonreir es lo mas bello que uno puede experienciar, como ver a las estrellas oh ver un gol de mexico lol.
oh y no falta su linda risa.
Esa mujer tiene unos ojos que cuando unos los mira, uno puede ver dos lindos crystales, tan lindos y brillosos.
Su Piel es Morena y debe ser cuidada porque es piel bien suave y blandita, con
el lindo aroma de mujer.
Sus labios son deliciosos cerezas cubiertas de chocolate, que al besarle sus labios
siento la piel enchinar.
Ella tiene un lindo cuerpo que cuando lo siento junto al mio, siento el calor
y la tranquilidad que me calma, pero lo mas bonito es sentir su corazon palpitar en mi pecho.
Su Corazon es el que uno mas debe de cuidar porque es Muy Fragil,como una rosa roja, cuidarla porque
si no le puede tumbar uno petalos y sin petalos estuviera la rosa danada.
pero si uno le cuida el corazon ella te regresa amor y carino.
Sus piernas, uno puede recorrer sus piernas con las manos y sentirse como si uno estubiera en el paraiso.
Sabes lo que es arte verdad? es algo que relaja al ver y se siente bien al tocar
pues cuando toco sus curvas de su bellisimo cuerpo moreno se puede saber que ella es
una piesa de arte, con alto valor. Tiene figuras complicadas pero bellas de corazon verdad de dios.
Cuando ella llora sus lagrimas son puros crystales brillantes que no deberian de ser derramadas por
dolor si no por felicidad. Ella a sufrido mucho y se a convertido fragil. y Cuando uno decide tomarla uno
se esta dedicando a hacerla feliz para ya no sufrir mas. Aveces me pregunto si ella es un angel mandado de dios,
y no cabe duda que si lo es, es una angelita.
Me enamore tanto de su linda forma de ser que estoy dispuesto a dar mi VIDA por ella, no ay
duda en eso.

Pero tambien le eh echo mal a ella, la eh echo llorar,sufrir y le eh quebrado su corazonsito. Estoy arrepentido y
avergonzado de eso, pero el pasado cruel deberia de ser olvidado, no como el bueno que deberia ser recordado
para siempre.
El Destino nos puso en un camino para conocernos y amarnos.
ella y yo somos lo mas perfecto.
por alguna razon la puso dios en mi camino para conquistar su corazon.
y quieres saber de quien hablo? esa preciosa,Carinosa,hermosa,y dulce mujer se llama Maria..... Este poema o forma de sentir hacia ti lo saque de mi corazon con mis propias palabras. Te amo maria. y no lo olvides jamas amor, perdon por mis errores y perdon las lagrimas que te hice que salieron de tus preciosos ojos, perdon por hacerte sentir como que la vida te trai errores y maltratos desde que me conocistes,Perdoname por desilucionar tu corazon con mi forma de ser,
Perdoname por no apreciarte como lo debi... te lo digo de corazon, pero te amo, te amo..
En este dia tan especial para mi y para ti espero que de corazon me perdones y que me creas cuando te digo que voy a cambiar. Estoy cansado de hacerte sufrir, quiero hacerte feliz.
Eres mi felicidad maria y no lo miento, Estoy Verdaderamente enamorado de ti.. No ay duda.
Una mujer como tu merece lo mas mejor del mundo y no lo mas peor.. Te amo muchisimo chiquita, y la vida sin ti no me la imagino, porque estoy seguro que no encontrare a alguien como tu. .

Monday, June 28, 2010

Im sorry for the heart breaks.



IN THIS POST I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE BAD CRUEL STUFF.

Hey my love i am sorry for everything i have caused you that has made you feel despised, or alone and not appreciated.

I AM SORRY FOR.............
- RAISING MY VOICE AT YOU.
- SMOKING CIGARETTES, WHEN I KNOW YOU HATE THEM.
- SOMETIMES NOT UNDERSTANDING YOU.
- SAYING SOME OF THE MOST RUDEST THINGS YOU HAVE EVER HEARD SOMEONE SAY TO YOU.
- I AM SORRY IF I MADE YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES CRY.
- SORRY IF I MADE YOU FEEL TRAPPED.
- SORRY FOR NOT MAKING IT TO BAND CAMP ON TIME. LOL
- SORRY FOR ALL THE ANNOYING THINGS YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME.
- SORRY FOR ACTING TOUGH AND PROUD IN MOMENTS THAT HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS BEHAVIOR.
- SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN SO MANY TIMES, GOD KNOWS I DON'T TRY HARD ENOUGH! AS I AM SUPPOSE TO.



- SORRY FOR BEING MEAN WITH YOU. ='(
- SORRY FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE WITH YOU AT SOME TIMES.
- SORRY FOR RUINING SOME OF OUR MOMENTS.
- SORRY FOR NOT ALWAYS BEING THE GUY YOU DREAMED.
- SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A IDIOT AND LOOSING YOU.
- SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU SITTING DOWN IN CHURCH, WHILE YOU WAIT FOR ME AND NEVER SHOW UP.
- SORRY FOR NOT DEMONSTRATING MY LOVE HARD ENOUGH AS I AM SUPPOSE TO.
- SORRY FOR SAYING SORRY TOO MANY TIMES. =)
- SORRY FOR SHOWING UP LATE TO CHURCH.
- SORRY FOR THE TIMES WE WRESTLED AND MADE YOU GET MAD. =)
- SORRY FOR SAYING STUPID THINGS.
- SORRY FOR SHOWING UP LATE TO YOUR HOUSE, SOMETIMES. =(
- I AM SORRY IF SOMETIMES I AM A HARD HEAD WHEN YOU DUMP ME =( , ITS CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT IT SUCKS BEING WITHOUT YOU.
- SORRY FOR NOT BEING THERE FOR YOU SOMETIMES WHEN YOU NEED ME.

THERE ARE MANY MORE BUT I RATHER SAY IT TO YOU FACE TO FACE.
JUST KNOW THAT i love you, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, AND WORK HARD TO CHANGE JUST FOR YOU. NOW ON LEAVE ALL THE BAD STUFF BEHIND AND START NEW WITH YOU. TE AMO.

Reasons i know I love you. ♥


Love is sometimes hard to explain, its just unexplainable. I mean i was reading a article on love and LUST Reasons i know i am in love and not in lust are these.

TO:THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. FROM:YOUR ETERNAL LOVE.

- I miss her even if it has been a couple of hours or a day that i haven't seen her.

- I dream of her and me being together forever and ever and having a family.

- I sometimes daze out and find myself smiling at memories that i have with her, like special events we went to together, or good old school hanging out. REAL LIFE STORY= WELL ONE DAY I INVITED HER TO GO OUT WITH ME TO EAT, WE ATE SOME GREAT FOOD AND HAD A GREAT TIME WE WENT TO THE LAKE AND SPENT SOME GOOD TIME THERE, AND ONCE IN A WHILE I REMEMBER THIS , JUST AS I REMEMBER MANY MORE MOMENTS I SPENT WITH HER.

- The reason i know i will never find anybody like you in this world, even though there are many girls or as they say many fish in the tank, i want you and no one else. I would NEVER, replace you for anybody else.

- When i wake up, i want the day to go on fast just to see you and spend time with you by my side. But as i said in my last blog i would give you space since you need it. Got to lay off on the annoying johnny. lol

- To me there is no one like you YOU ARE JUST ONE OF A KIND!!!!!!!!

- You are really special to me and mean a lot to me.

- I have never loved this way before and doubt i will ever love this way with someone else who is not you. THIS LOVE THAT I FEEL FOR YOU IS JUST FOR YOU AND ONLY FOR YOU! NO ONE ELSE WILL EVER HAVE ME.

- I have complete trust in you, i believe in you, i know you would never do anything to hurt me.

- You are BEAUTIFUL TO ME NO MATTER WHAT, like in the article, you could be plunging the toilet with your hair all frizzy and a flip flop on and the other one missing lol but i will still think you look BEAUTIFUL.

- I KNOW I LOVE YOU THATS ALL ! THERES MANY MORE REASONS BUT I KNOW I JUST DO.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Some things i need to change to be a better me and Boyfriend.

Believe it or not i get tired of messing up, (listening to Tejano). But hey nothing ever happens, i always feel secure, but now i am really fu*#@d, and dont take it wrong i never assured myself, but i never learned my lesson. OK so lets get to the main point. So i met this girl named Maria, tall girl, dark brown hair, pretty lips, and amazing eyes, this was back in February of 2009 and well i was currently joining a band. So anyways i asked her to join the band, she said she would think about it and well next thing you know i asked for her number, and she gave it to me, she wrote it down all nice in cursive letters (Maria Arana)with a heart symbol just like this one on the i of maria, since then i caught on to her, well she said that she didn't even like me :D. But yeah i talked and talked to her and in less then a month we went out. Now we had 1 year and four months!. But i think that due to this we really didn't know each other well. Unfortunately she broke up with me June 24th our anniversary, but she told me many things, many things i never even thought about, many things that make sense, and well now lets stop and think back or better yet think of the future!, The things i am going to change in me to be a better Johnny, My goals!

- STOP THROWING THINGS ON HER FACE, and not literally speaking as in actually throwing objects, :D .When me and her would argue i would always like a dumb ass would say "well i did this for you and this is what i get!" , Nu uh i gotta cut this stupidity out. No more this! This has to stop! OH BY THE WAY I HAVEN'T DONE THIS IN A WHILE AND I KNOW IT WONT JAJA. (STATUS)= COMPLETED

- CONTROL MY ANGER !, Oh my god i dont know what happened here, dont even know where to start, sometimes i would get so out of hand, and heck no i need to cut this out EXTREMELY ! she never got this way with me and i shouldn't either she would super hate this attitude of mine. I want to change so bad for her and i know i can, its possible and it can be done with a little bit of HOPE and FAITH, and HARD WORK. This is basically the reason why everything kinda went down really bad, cause of my "i am mad attitude" . This is the biggie of them all and i really am working on this one this time!. I PROMISE YOU I WILL CHANGE AND MAKE YOU HAPPY! I KNOW THIS TIME AND HAVE A GOOD FEELING I WILL CHANGE THIS TIME! (STATUS)= WORKING ON IT. UPDATED ON JUNE 27 4:42 AM.

-STOP BEING SO PRIDEFUL. Yep this one made a mess also , so many times i would try to act like the big thing and Mr.Hard or Mr.Untouchable, guys and girls out there, this does not help at all. Well anyways yeah this is only going to make things worse, I PROMISE AND SWEAR I WILL NEVER DO THIS, ILL KEEP UPDATED, BETTER YET i dont act this way anymore. so its all cool. (STATUS)= COMPLETED

-I HAVE TO BE MORE RESPECTFUL, THAT MEANS NO MORE CUSSING OR LOUD MEAN VOICE. Yeah probably many of us have this problem whether you're a guy or girl. OK so i do this a lot, notice maria its A LOT not ALOT, jaja well yeah this is one of the main ones also, sometimes this would come after the second problem the ANGER ONE, i would get mad and start having a loud voice and no, this will just hurt your partners little sweet heart. This is probably one of the reasons why my ex maria felt so down sometimes, or that she felt like being alone with no one around her like a boyfriend. :( . man I AM SO MEAN AND A ASSHOLE IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT. WELL THIS IS A SUPER HARD ONE BUT I AM NOT A QUITTER. (STATUS)= WORKING ON IT.

-QUIT ON THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, ja well what could i say i was like the one always saying "you're going to dump me right?" or "dont tell me you dont want to be with me?!" or "do you love me?" after she said it like 30 times "no i will not dump you or yes i do want to be with you, or yes johnny i really love you and you know it". Yeah this kind of behavior really kills them. this is one of the ones i am slowly letting go off. (STATUS)= ALMOST THERE AT 95%

-GIVE HER A BREAK, OR TIME OFF, SOMETIMES GIRLS GET FED UP OF OUR STUPID GUY STUPIDITY THAT THEY NEED TO COOL OFF, but sometimes some of us would be so full of it that we would even get mad like me. Sometimes Maria would be so tired of me that she would nicely tell me, "please give me some time for myself and to think things out". Well all i heard from that would be "i dont want you anymore", when come on this could actually be the thing your relationship needs, a BREAK BUT NOT BREAK UP. There is actually a difference, Break means for a girl that she needs time for herself and to you! "the guy" cool off, but break up of course means getting dumped.
I AM STILL CONFUSED THOUGH LOL I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE I GOT LOL. I HOPE ITS NOT A FOREVER BREAK UP. LOVE HER SO MUCH! (STATUS)= AH THIS IS A HARD ONE =`(. I FEEL SO DEPRESSED, MELANCHOLIC AND NOSTALGIC AND LONELY ON THESE ONES! SOMETIMES THIS WOULD ALSO CAUSE INSOMNIA, TEARS, BAD THOUGHTS EX. NOT WORTH LIVING, AND ALSO BAD DREAMS AND LONG DAYS.

-DON'T BE SELFISH LET HER/HIM HAVE THEIR PERSONAL SPACE AND TIME, Man i really violated this one i would be 24/7 at her house and that was not really good, even though they love you that does not mean that you can be there all the damn time. well i slowly improved on this one i went from 10 am on summer days to 3:30 summer of 2010 days. Sometimes if you're so in love like me lol you never think about the other persons plans or space, and well you might bore them i think i bored her. lol.but its OK i respect this now. (STATUS)= 99.5% COMPLETED STILL 5% LEFT.

WELL FELLAS THESE ARE SOME , *NOTE* SOME, I THINK, OF THE MANY PROBLEMS I AM GOING TO FIX IN ME, SO I WANT BE A TERRIBLE LOVE BIRD. . BUT YEAH I WILL KEEP UPDATED OF WHAT HAPPENS LOVE YOU ! AND I KNOW WERE MEANT TO BE!